Waiting?

Last year didn't quite turn out to be the year I had hoped for on the bike. I started by training probably a little too hard in anticipation of racing with the Master 1/2/3 racers and ultimately my first few races turned out to be duds. I did 4 races before I got stuck with a project at work that consumed all of my time in the evening and I had no time to train, much less even be at home or sleep. It turned out to be about a 12 week project that physically and mentally drained me, I had no energy for cycling. It turned out to be one of the most depressing summers, maybe even years, that I've ever had. On the bike, but personally as well, it was a bad year for me. I thought that once I got back in the groove of riding in the fall that I could transition in to riding the trainer in the offseason and hit the trails on the snowshoes as much as possible. Well, once the winter came and we got all the snow that we did I hit the trails a few times but never really got the motivation up to ride the trainer as much as I had hoped. I took it easy this winter, did some weight training, gained some weight, and rode a few times here and there. I kept telling myself that I had plenty of time, "it's only November", or " it's only December". There was a lot of waiting for the winter days to pass, '08 became '09 and I said, "it's only January, I've got plenty of time". I'm not sure what I was waiting for, I didn't really have the ambition to be a top racer this year, maybe not pack filler, but I wasn't ready to commit the time it took to be a top 10 finisher on a regular basis either. I just wanted to race, be there, and be happy doing it. All throughout January I kept telling myself that I didn't need to be super, this year was going to be my build up year for 2010, the year I was going to give it all I got, really get back in to racing. My "A" race isn't going to be Wheels on Willy, or the State Road Race, but it is going to be the Masters National Road Race championship. I want to get back to some type of national level racing, be somebody on the bike again, and it was going to start with training this year in preparing myself for next year. This is where the title comes in to play now, "Waiting?", what do I mean by that? Well, I still haven't hit the bike like I wanted to, I'm still riding here and there, not really committing, I keep telling myself I have plenty of time, I'm waiting for something to hit me, to say now is the time. I haven't had that happen yet, and I just think maybe I'm being lazy, maybe I don't need something to hit me, maybe I need to just slap myself and say, "now is the time". I anticipate that 2010 will be a good year for me, lots of training this year, and a then I'll kick some butt, but what if I get hit with a heavy duty work project again? What if I can't compete like I want to in 2010, what if it's a wasted year like 2008? So I asked myself today, why am I wasting 2009, sacrificing it for next year, what am I waiting for? I decided that I just need to get back on the bike, really rock it as much as I can this year, there may not be a next year to do that. So I'm not waiting, I'll enjoy 2009 as much as I can, ride as much as I can, and although I won't be doing the Masters' Nationals, I will do the State Road Race, my "A" race this year. What are you waiting for? Let's rock 2009 together, see you on the road.